The Brontosaurus Theory

Like most things, starting out small in the beginning, getting progressively bigger in the middle and then ending up small again in the end, I am starting this blog to share the stories that happen along the way.

Right then, on with the blogging! Not the coolest sounding activity or? But it does rhyme with "Snogging" which I believe is a rather naughty British saying for making out.

Thank god for the Internet, or rather Tim, who is not really a God but he is a Knight. Of all the titles, acknowledgments, awards, and bestow-ings, Knighthood has to be coolest. A Knight of the Internet! Maybe the guys a Google will get the title as well, after they buy Microsoft and control the Universe.

Would you put that on your business card? Why do we still have business cards? And why do we still wear jeans? Cars still don't fly, and its the year 2008! I think it has something to do with the fact that Bill Shatner hung up his stretch-suit and made "Has Been" - a great album and a very funny track! But at least I can listen to him, and the Foo Fighters on my iPod. Which, should be the model of a car - individual [trans]portation device.

But then again, I do like shoes. And if Capatin Kirk was still leading us, we'd all be wearing these space-boot-slipper things. And then the guy who invented flip-flops would be...or rather wouldn't be at all! Now we have strapless flip-flops. Which should not be allowed to be called a flip-flop, because they adhere to the souls of your feet and do not make any kind of "flip" or"flop" sound at all. And wouldn't sand and dirt and stuff stick to your feet after you peel them off ? Who the hell thought up that idea?

T-shirts are also cool. Which are best worn with jeans, so good that we still have jeans instead of stretch-suits. I read about a guy who made a t-shirt that had the words "Fuck Yoga" in a stylish font, printed on the front. He wore it for 39 consecutive days (I'm sure with a rinse cycle in between), and got his photo in the NY Times and in GQ magazine! I'm going to print one that says "Fuck Blogging" and see what happens! But he has a good point; yoga has been going on for far too long without a single slam!

Or maybe I'll invent Smoga - yoga for smokers. I smoke. I didn't start when I was 4 or anything like that, but I do smoke randomly now. And will probably stop at some point. And then start again after an evening of drinking. If you drank martinis everyday, you'd probably die. If you eat at McD's everyday, you'd probably die. I smoke. But not everyday.

Weather is...a sign that I'm running out of anything else to think about. But it is also a thing that we (people) in the whole world agree on. Good weather is better than bad weather. Weather can unite cultures. I think weather should get another chance. Not, "Oh my god, he had nothing so say so he talked about the weather", anymore! Weather is Peace! I think I'm going to save weather and put it on a t-shirt, and see what happens.

Until then.